PMS makes me a better person.

So, these past few weeks, I have been in a TERRIBLE mood.  I have been super pissed at my husband and my kids have been driving me UP THE WALL.  I got a job (which I have been trying to get for a few months now) - but I wasn't even happy about it.  I was just stressed about it.  Are they going to like me?  Am I going to like them?  Am I going to be able to *submit* to the rules (oooh, I HATE that word!)?  Am I going to be able to stand missing some dinners every week with my family in order to go to work?

And the more angry I got, the more ANGRY I got... I was even threatening to cancel our family trip that we have been planning for several months.  It was a downward spiral.  I couldn't even journal (gasp!) because I was SO angry - I was liable to tear out the pages!

I was PMSing.

And if you are anything like my family and friends, you are going "Oooooh.  Of course.  Just wait - it will pass and you will be just fine."

That is what I normally do: Just let it pass.  I generally chuck my PMS time as a time to ignore my emotions.  But in this self-discovery journey - it is becoming clear that *extreme* emotions are not something to just ignore and wait out.

Neither are my depressive episodes (some may consider a chemical imbalance).  On the contrary, those extremely sensitive times are a map to pointing out things that need to be worked on.

This moontime, I was being led to be grateful.

Oprah's 21 day challenge has been.... a challenge to do every single day (especially while on vacation).  But I did catch the gratitude meditation and BOY has it made a difference.  If you just sit and think about everything in your life that you are grateful for.  And not just list generic things like food, shelter, and life.  But REALLY think about it them - and think about WHY you love these things.  It will fill you with so much happiness, you will be about to burst.

In my case, I think about each of my kids - and how funny, quirky, amazing, and beautiful they are.  I think about how they look, how they walk, and the funny stuff they say.  I think about my husband - and how he is (seriously) like the MOST AMAZING person EVER.  He is so grounded, and patient, and giving... and just all around awesome.  And then the job.  The job I got is one that I could not have designed to fit my lifestyle better.  It is part-time, a couple of days a week, the income is enough to significantly change our lifestyle - and the rate at which we meet our financial goals, and (most importantly) I LOVE the actual work.

And doing that meditation made me so full of happiness, it felt like I won the lottery or something.

So, even though my emotions were 'way off', they showed me what I needed to focus on. My family - which is the BEST thing in my life, and I was not fully appreciating them.

So, I challenge you to do the same!  The next time you have an extreme emotion to something, instead of just ignoring it - try to do a little self-reflection to find out what the real problem is.  And even if you aren't feeling particularly grumpy, try a gratitude meditation.   It is an instant mood booster.

So grateful we went on the trip!

Love and Light,
Ayana