|Post Cards I had printed, but have been too afraid to sell :/|
I know, I know. You guys are like: "She is sooooo over the top". <- That is what I think about myself. That is also probably why I haven't been dealing with these issues until recently. Fortunately, journaling forces me to write down my *real* thoughts - no matter how illogical or frivolous. The more I journal, the more I am able to uncensor myself and the REAL truth comes out automatically. (Have I convinced you to start journaling, yet? Say Yes!)
(I don't want to make this a Christian bashing blog but, that is where most of my shadows originate.) My Christian upbringing taught me that man is *inherently* evil - that we are born deserving hell and the only way to get into God's good graces is to become a Christian. Then, like magic, we are pure and clean.
I am sure that this belief system makes some Christians feel *safe* and *good*. Unfortunately, it makes me feel undeserving and bad and.... dirty. And if I am bad, the kind of bad that deserves eternal torture in the fiery pits of hell, then CLEARLY I do not deserve love.
Which is crazy. Obviously, everyone deserves love - and those who get the least of it become the source of the *worst* acts in society.
So, from here on out, my mantra is going to be: "I deserve love". Because I do! And so do you ;).
Love and Light